That day is hovering around like a dog hovers around the dinner table for scraps. That day filled with hearts and Hallmark commercials. That day filled with flowers and fancy restaurants dates. That day is Valentine’s Day.  Usually, I hate that day.  I’ve been annoyed when folks blew up Facebook with their lovey-dovey statuses.  I’ve allowed self-pity to overpower me.

This year, I have decided not to be annoyed, nauseated, or even envious. At least, it is my hope to not allow my emotions to become ugly. It is not worth it to feel all of these extra emotions over one day. One day should not make me feel insignificant. Being single or afrotastically single as I call is not a curse. it’s a beautiful, wondrous thing! So, I can hold onto this beautiful thing on Valentine’s Day.

A friend of mine introduced me to the song “Dear No One” by Tori Kelly.  As you have probably observed, I love music! I really love praise and worship as it comforts me. “Dear No One” is not a worship song, but it is an anthem for the single gals. I relate to the song, because it talks about some of my quirks and celebrates them. Through her lyrics, Tori Kelly tells us that it is okay to be single and to wait for whomever God has for you!

I know that everyone does not hold this belief, but I believe in the concept of “The One” or soul mates. I also believe that if it is God’s will for me to be married, I will marry that person who tolerates both my sweet and ugly sides. I say “if” because lately, I have thinking about what would happen if I didn’t get married. One of my relatives actually brought up this point to me. He said to me “What if marriage is not God’s will?” At first, I was alarmed and thought “Of course, I will get married.” Then, I pondered his point and thought, “What would happen if marriage does not happen?’ “Would I walk around with tears on my face?” Would I be perpetually unhappy?” I think my answer would be ” I would be okay.”

Now, don’t get me wrong! It would be nice to get married and have kids one day. But I also do not want that desire to become an idol. I feel that God has good intentions for me, and if marriage does not happen, it does not happen. The world will not explode.

Honestly, I have found contentment in being able to concentrate on myself and my dreams. I can focus on grad school and becoming the social worker that I want to be. After I finish school, I would like to work with communities of color.  I am saddened when I hear about the present inequalities that these communities face. Maybe with such interests, I will end up down South or in DC. Who knows…but I can’t end up in such places if someone is holding me back. Although, I know the “right” person will not hold me back.

With Valentine’s Day coming up, I plan to not mourn or complain. One day does not have to crush me, because I have love. I have love from Jesus, my family, and friends. I can claim them all as my Valentines.

BTW, check out Tori Kelly’s song “Dear No One” below: