I like to hold onto things! I hold onto thank you and birthday cards. As I look at the sweet words in said cards, I become gleeful.
I hold onto memories and expectations. Like a two year old, I have a tantrum when expectations aren’t fulfilled. When the tantrum has ended, I become introspective. I wonder if the tantrum was really necessary and if my expectations were too high.
Lately, I have been holding onto a thing that isn’t mine. I am the two year old, who has stolen another child’s favorite toy. I am crying, “It’s mine” when I actually know the truth.
It is not MINE; it’s God’s!
My mind has arrived at this epiphany but my heart is fighting back. My heart is broken and it is slipping into heavy emotions. This is when I know that I have to give God my heart and let Him hold it. At the end of it, He’s got me. He knows what I need when I really need it. He knows when it is the best time to give me something when I believe the time is right now!
I haven’t yet mastered the art of waiting, of letting go! Although, I am grateful that I can ask God to help me to be a graceful waiter and not a spoiled two year old.
At the bottom of this entry, I have attached the song, “Everything is Yours” by Audrey Assad. This wonderful singer-songwriter has captured all of my thoughts into one song. Please take a moment to listen to it.